(Среда, 09 Апреля 2014 г. 20:08)
For about 24hrs I couldn’t quit thinking of the real-life situation shown in another Japanese animated film “Wolf children Ame and Yuki”.
As I always put myself in characters’ place I can feel deeply what they have to live through. The main character, young Hanna, have lost her beloved husband in a strange accident. Left alone with two toddlers she had to ignore her commotion and bring her children up without any help. I have never stopped to think how it should be hard not only because you get dead tired of dealing with all the difficulties as a single parent but because the most important man of all your life is gone along with the dreams about your happy future. No more love, no more support, no more advice.. They say when you start a family it is a child who becomes the center of the Universe. Maybe it’s true, I’m too inexperienced to agree with it. But unlike most of my female acquaintances I seem to be the only one who can tell ALL the secrets to my beloved. Considering that those girls are married for a long time I wonder whom they’ve chosen for a partner of their whole life – a passer-by? I can confide in Alyosha all the secrets, fears, doubts, joyful news – everything. He is a great support to me. Well, actually there IS a thing that I can’t tell him – my secret dreams. I feel terrible when he catches me in the moment of pensiveness. Red as a lobster I MAKE UP a fake reason feeling like I have committed another sin. Although I’m a bad lier I hope Alyosha doesn’t get the length of my foot. Sincerely I don’t want to keep him in the dark but to be so open with him as possible. These secrets (though trifling) are like a list-to-do which I’ve made up in my childhood/teenage years. Despite nothing goes to plan in my life I’m still curious of some future moments and events. I want to see if this “list” will coincide with the real life. But as my dreams touch on my future husband and family subject I’m afraid of disclosing these thoughts to Alyosha as they will look like a hint. I don’t want to incline him to anything when he should himself take a decision. Besides speaking about family I don’t think I’m ready to get proposed. At one hand I want to but at another – I ADORE to imagine how it will happen. I remember that I imagined it to happen unexpected, on the picnic for instance, there would be just two of us and the engagement ring would be made before my eyes out of a tiny wild flower. Isn’t this kind of a dream wonderful? How can I tell it to Alyosha??? If he proposes to me one day he’ll do it like HE imagines.. It’s him who will take this step so he has the right to do it like he wants. I remember that I already imagined the way my future beloved would confess his love. I don’t already remember what a dream I had but I know that it was absolutely different what Alyosha did. We were peacefully lying on the bed, my head on his shoulder (my favorite pillow), his arm stroking mine and suddenly he uttered “I think I love you” (По-моему я тебя люблю). I was at a loss and replied with a smile something like “do you THINK?” (По-твоему?))) Although I knew by that time I love him too. He was “beloved” in my mind and this word has scarcely fallen from lips a couple times. But again I was afraid to make haste and said that I Iove him in two days later - on the day of my departure back to Russia. Too much fear in my life. I should be more plain with my sweetheart. The characters in the film were so frank, candid and happy! Grudge, distrust, fears, quarrels, etc. are absolutely needless! We should be happy right HERE right NOW! If we love we should want to give! NOT to take! The true love is the love of giving everything to my beloved. I should enjoy it! It’s another axiom I’ve learnt from the film. He is alive. Me either. What else is needed? He loves me and with such a support I can overcome a lot. I want to be like him. I hope I’ll manage to.
For about 24hrs I couldn’t quit thinking of the real-life situation shown in another Japanese animated film “Wolf children Ame and Yuki”.
As I always put myself in characters’ place I can feel deeply what they have to live through. The main character, young Hanna, have lost her beloved husband in a strange accident. Left alone with two toddlers she had to ignore her commotion and bring her children up without any help. I have never stopped to think how it should be hard not only because you get dead tired of dealing with all the difficulties as a single parent but because the most important man of all your life is gone along with the dreams about your happy future. No more love, no more support, no more advice.. They say when you start a family it is a child who becomes the center of the Universe. Maybe it’s true, I’m too inexperienced to agree with it. But unlike most of my female acquaintances I seem to be the only one who can tell ALL the secrets to my beloved. Considering that those girls are married for a long time I wonder whom they’ve chosen for a partner of their whole life – a passer-by? I can confide in Alyosha all the secrets, fears, doubts, joyful news – everything. He is a great support to me. Well, actually there IS a thing that I can’t tell him – my secret dreams. I feel terrible when he catches me in the moment of pensiveness. Red as a lobster I MAKE UP a fake reason feeling like I have committed another sin. Although I’m a bad lier I hope Alyosha doesn’t get the length of my foot. Sincerely I don’t want to keep him in the dark but to be so open with him as possible. These secrets (though trifling) are like a list-to-do which I’ve made up in my childhood/teenage years. Despite nothing goes to plan in my life I’m still curious of some future moments and events. I want to see if this “list” will coincide with the real life. But as my dreams touch on my future husband and family subject I’m afraid of disclosing these thoughts to Alyosha as they will look like a hint. I don’t want to incline him to anything when he should himself take a decision. Besides speaking about family I don’t think I’m ready to get proposed. At one hand I want to but at another – I ADORE to imagine how it will happen. I remember that I imagined it to happen unexpected, on the picnic for instance, there would be just two of us and the engagement ring would be made before my eyes out of a tiny wild flower. Isn’t this kind of a dream wonderful? How can I tell it to Alyosha??? If he proposes to me one day he’ll do it like HE imagines.. It’s him who will take this step so he has the right to do it like he wants. I remember that I already imagined the way my future beloved would confess his love. I don’t already remember what a dream I had but I know that it was absolutely different what Alyosha did. We were peacefully lying on the bed, my head on his shoulder (my favorite pillow), his arm stroking mine and suddenly he uttered “I think I love you” (По-моему я тебя люблю). I was at a loss and replied with a smile something like “do you THINK?” (По-твоему?))) Although I knew by that time I love him too. He was “beloved” in my mind and this word has scarcely fallen from lips a couple times. But again I was afraid to make haste and said that I Iove him in two days later - on the day of my departure back to Russia. Too much fear in my life. I should be more plain with my sweetheart. The characters in the film were so frank, candid and happy! Grudge, distrust, fears, quarrels, etc. are absolutely needless! We should be happy right HERE right NOW! If we love we should want to give! NOT to take! The true love is the love of giving everything to my beloved. I should enjoy it! It’s another axiom I’ve learnt from the film. He is alive. Me either. What else is needed? He loves me and with such a support I can overcome a lot. I want to be like him. I hope I’ll manage to.