(Суббота, 29 марта 2014 г.)
I want to dedicate this entry to my mom. She really deserves it.
And though I never said it but I love her. I appreciate everything she has done for me and my siblings. Today, recalling the past, I realize how it was difficult for her to make both ends meet, to live in constant hardship. Nevertheless each of her FIVE children (and this is worthy of respect) has higher education and well-paid job (well, of course I think that my job is rather underpaid
)
I'm grateful that on that gloom day when no one knew of her utter desperation she has chosen life. I can only imagine how it was hard to find herself alone with three minor children at that dark period of change. But she strung up all her resolution for our better tomorrow so that I didn't even suspect of any deprivation. Maybe I was to small to understand economic part of life and regarded lack of encouragement to my whims as parenting :-)
Besides we had happy childhood with plenty of toys and friends. HOW? We were extremely poor! We couldn't even afford a fine art fotography per 25 roubles but we had a Barbie house! Furnished! I've never dreamt of Barbie house because I had it :-) Thanks to my mom.
Thanks to her there's have never been sibling rivalry in my family. Of course, some sort of misundersing occurs from time to time but we are friendly in general.
My mom is not only well-educated and -experienced but really sage! I can learn a lot from her! She gives brilliant advice but never insists on following them. She keeps saying "Do what is right on your own sight". So she cannot be accused of any mistakes we've done, it was only our decision and fault.
To my shame, I have to admit that there was a generation gap between two of us. As a teenager I was a real rebel who demanded "liberty, equality and fraternity" and was too blind to realize that I already had it more than enough. I was sure she didn't trust me and had a poor opinion of me which insulted me. There were horrible quarrels and even assaults(I'm about to die of shame)- I shall never forget my ignominy. I have no idea how she succeeded to endure my temperament. To make the situaton worse I've found my old paper diaries which I kept at 12-16 years old. Great deal of entries tells about my wicked and irreverent attitude towards my mummy. Moreover, I had guts to sincerely excuse myself. I was horrified by the rigorous feelings, cruel thoughts and exteme hostility against my mom poured out in the diaries. The wonder is that I don't remember my teenage spite but only happy moments. Maybe it's because my mindset changed in a positive and kind way shotly after my leaving the school?
I wish to apologize for my past words and behaviour. I don't want my mom to think I'm still undeservingly mad at her . Besides she has hit up the diaries recently... :-O :-[
I wish to say that I love her. But I'm not used to it. Unfortunately, these words as well as simple hugs are uncommon in my family. As I'm afraid of causing any discomfort I don't make a move. My mom taught me if a person wants he/she will make it first. I ought not to be obtrusive. But if this person thinks the same?
Oh, mummy-mummy. I'm soooo sorry! I do love you. And do respect you.
But sometimes you are also whimsical :-P
I want to dedicate this entry to my mom. She really deserves it.
And though I never said it but I love her. I appreciate everything she has done for me and my siblings. Today, recalling the past, I realize how it was difficult for her to make both ends meet, to live in constant hardship. Nevertheless each of her FIVE children (and this is worthy of respect) has higher education and well-paid job (well, of course I think that my job is rather underpaid
)I'm grateful that on that gloom day when no one knew of her utter desperation she has chosen life. I can only imagine how it was hard to find herself alone with three minor children at that dark period of change. But she strung up all her resolution for our better tomorrow so that I didn't even suspect of any deprivation. Maybe I was to small to understand economic part of life and regarded lack of encouragement to my whims as parenting :-)
Besides we had happy childhood with plenty of toys and friends. HOW? We were extremely poor! We couldn't even afford a fine art fotography per 25 roubles but we had a Barbie house! Furnished! I've never dreamt of Barbie house because I had it :-) Thanks to my mom.
Thanks to her there's have never been sibling rivalry in my family. Of course, some sort of misundersing occurs from time to time but we are friendly in general.
My mom is not only well-educated and -experienced but really sage! I can learn a lot from her! She gives brilliant advice but never insists on following them. She keeps saying "Do what is right on your own sight". So she cannot be accused of any mistakes we've done, it was only our decision and fault.
To my shame, I have to admit that there was a generation gap between two of us. As a teenager I was a real rebel who demanded "liberty, equality and fraternity" and was too blind to realize that I already had it more than enough. I was sure she didn't trust me and had a poor opinion of me which insulted me. There were horrible quarrels and even assaults(I'm about to die of shame)- I shall never forget my ignominy. I have no idea how she succeeded to endure my temperament. To make the situaton worse I've found my old paper diaries which I kept at 12-16 years old. Great deal of entries tells about my wicked and irreverent attitude towards my mummy. Moreover, I had guts to sincerely excuse myself. I was horrified by the rigorous feelings, cruel thoughts and exteme hostility against my mom poured out in the diaries. The wonder is that I don't remember my teenage spite but only happy moments. Maybe it's because my mindset changed in a positive and kind way shotly after my leaving the school?
I wish to apologize for my past words and behaviour. I don't want my mom to think I'm still undeservingly mad at her . Besides she has hit up the diaries recently... :-O :-[
I wish to say that I love her. But I'm not used to it. Unfortunately, these words as well as simple hugs are uncommon in my family. As I'm afraid of causing any discomfort I don't make a move. My mom taught me if a person wants he/she will make it first. I ought not to be obtrusive. But if this person thinks the same?
Oh, mummy-mummy. I'm soooo sorry! I do love you. And do respect you.
But sometimes you are also whimsical :-P